{"id":3002,"date":"2008-08-12T20:44:40","date_gmt":"2008-08-13T01:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/2008\/08\/12\/romantic-ideas-for-chronically-ill-women-to-romance-her-husband\/"},"modified":"2008-08-12T20:44:40","modified_gmt":"2008-08-13T01:44:40","slug":"romantic-ideas-for-chronically-ill-women-to-romance-her-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/?p=3002","title":{"rendered":"Romantic Ideas for Chronically Ill Women to Romance Her Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"
by Lisa Copen<\/div>\n

“Hot and bothered” has long referred to romance and those sparks of chemistry between you and the one you love, but if you have a chronic illness, romance may be the last thing on your mind. Chronic illness can quickly redefine “hot” to mean the symptoms of a thyroid condition, night sweats, or a hot heating pad. “Bothered” is something you feel every night when you are annoyed you can’t sleep. For examle, achy joints, a dog<\/a> who snores from his resting place on your pillow, and a spouse that can sleep through anything. Romantic evenings may be the last thing on your mind in your home!<\/p>\n

Most people don’t realize that nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S.A. And when it comes to marriages, chronic illness and mental illness, does not have a good impact! Seventy-five percent of marriages end in divorce. It takes more than Valentine’s Day romance a few days a year to keep a marriage alive and romantic.<\/p>\n

So, how can you add back some of that spark? I’ve got some romantic ideas that will tell your hubby “I love you” even when you are in chronic pain.<\/p>\n

You have to give it your best effort and avoid excuses. “I’m so tired and had such a hard day. I feel terrible.” I’ve said them all so I understand. Unfortunately the circumstances won’t likely change, so you have to change your attitude in order to have the benefit of getting to the joy of romance. Let yourself relax and push past the pain and see if you can forget a good chunk of it. Distraction can be a wonderful thing.<\/p>\n

Make romance a priority. That means not spending the whole Saturday cleaning your house and then being exhausted. Rest up, even if it’s just so you can have a conversation without falling asleep.<\/p>\n

Do whatever it takes to be enthusiastic for your romantic evening. If you go out for a nice dinner, don’t tell him over the menu, “I actually feel pretty sick, so I don’t know what to eat. I really am going out just as a favor for you.” (That’s won’t turn your loved one on in the least!) Even if your romance is just dinner out, enjoy talking about some dreams you still have or what your hopes are for the future. Avoid talking about your illness or how it could change them all at the drop of a hat.<\/p>\n

Poetry can be over-rated, so don’t worry about being eloquent. Instead, just write<\/a> some of the things you love and appreciate about your spouse in a mini-photo album, or frame your favorite photo on a large matte and write your favorite memories of that event around it.<\/p>\n

Make a list of all the things you notice he does that you don’t usually thank him for: taking out the garbage, getting you medication in the middle of the night, giving your child a bath, cleaning out the litter box. Type out a sheet of all of this stuff in fun fonts and different colors.<\/p>\n

Women<\/a>, get out of the grandma section of underwear and buy something red, black or anything that doesn’t have waist bands wider than an inch. Stop being so self-conscious.<\/p>\n

Learn to text message with your phone and send him a messge that says something out of character for you. Be outrageously romantic, just make sure you send it to the right person in your phone book!<\/p>\n

Make up coupons for something he would like but wouldn’t typically splurge on for himself. For example, “Good for 5 guilt-free hours of going fishing with the guys.” Don’t make him feel guilty whenever he wants to do something you can participate in (like going for a bike ride or on a roller coaster.)<\/p>\n

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But a marriage where both people are involved in keeping it alive, despite the existence of a chronic illness, can be one of the most rewarding joys in your life. Romance comes in many forms. I loved my husband more than ever the night I literally could not move because of a rheumatoid arthritis flare. I “slept” sitting on the couch and he slept on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I moved and screamed from the pain.<\/p>\n

Love comes in many forms. One of the books I’ve bought all the couples in my life is “Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs” by Emerson Eggerichs. Men<\/a> often feel loved when they are respected, women want to feel loved. Usually we are offering our spouse what we wan’t, not what they need. Being aware of all of the little things we do each day that give one another love and respect, add up to romance when you least expect it.<\/p>\n

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About the Author:<\/div>\n
Get 40 pages of “Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend”<\/a> by Lisa Copen when you subscribe HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries<\/a>. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Hot and bothered” has long referred to romance and those sparks of chemistry between you and the one you love, but if you have a chronic illness, romance may be the last thing on your mind. Chronic illness can quickly redefine “hot” to mean the symptoms of a thyroid condition, night sweats, or a hot heating pad. “Bothered” is something you feel every night when you are annoyed you can’t sleep. For examle, achy joints, a dog who snores from his resting place on your pillow, and a spouse that can sleep through anything. Romantic evenings may be the last thing on your mind in your home!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1530,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[86],"class_list":["post-3002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-management","tag-management"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1530"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3002"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3002\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magic1host.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}