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The task nobody wants to do - write and deliver a eulogy. Examples of eulogies may be of some assistance. What you effectively have to do is to talk about the deceased to other people. Does this make you nervous? You may think you are emotionally not up to this, and so examples of eulogies you can get ideas from would help greatly.

Step one here right now is DONT PANIC. Yes it’s easy for someone else to sit back and say that, but since you have to do this anyway - the best thing for you to do (since you may not be thinking clearly at this point) is to take a deep breath, and follow guidelines which will show you step by step how to write a great eulogy you will be proud of. So lets get started.

It is a responsibility you have been given, so you know you need to do this right - no matter how impossible it seems at the moment. You know you can’t just copy examples of eulogies with a word changed here and there - you want this to be just right, so the person deceased would be proud of you. Every word you say will go home with everyone listening to you, so you want it to be personal.

There is no set time frame for how long it will take to prepare a eulogy, or how long it should go for. It is an individual thing - it may take hours of researching information from others. Some things you might go to others for are:

1. Stories from other family members

2. Friend’s memories

3. Stories from co-workers or employers

4. Neighbour’s memories

5. Other associate’s memories

Don’t be surprised if this part of the process provides some comfort - finding out things about your loved one that until now you had no idea about.

While it’s easy to get examples of eulogies and just reword them for your own use, would it not feel better to have the skill to write and deliver a very personal eulogy - both as a sign of respect for the deceased and for your listeners who are relying on you?

You do not need any great skill to be able to do this. All you have to do is complete each step individually, and at the end when you look back, you will see what a great job you have done. So off we go.

After all your research is complete, either sit down at your computer, or get a pen and paper and lets get started on the next step. You need to note in point form only what you are planning to talk about. Your points should be very simple eg a town or suburb name, persons name, teenaged years, life accomplishment, social things, other memories and so on. Remember only a couple of word point form for now.

Ok - you are doing really well to have progressed this far. It should be a good feeling to be doing this the right way and not stealing someone else’s ideas from examples of eulogies. Well done. Now lets press on. The next thing to do is to simply take the list of points you have made, and put them into some sort of timeline order eg childhood events before adult events etc.

Now go back to each point and expand on it. Remember you are not writing an essay for high school, but rather something which needs to sound informal and personal. As you write each sentence, stop and read it back out loud to your monitor or your fridge or your loungeroon lamp, or whatever is nearby - imagining it is a person you are telling it to. If it didn’t sound quite right when you read the sentence to the lamp, then say it out loud again as you would normally say it to someone, and edit the sentence on paper to what you just said.

Sentence after sentence, it will all start flowing easily. When you have completed all of the sentences and covered all of the points you have made, return to the start and read it out again. You may discover one or two more changes. Don’t worry at this point that you do not have an introduction or conclusion yet.

The introduction is the next thing to tackle. You could mention some of the things you will miss about the person, incorporating a short story or memory, comment or statement using the person’s name.

Then you are only left with the conclusion. This usually consists of any other thoughts you have, Sometimes a poem can be used here, or a personal prayer or blessing.

Then all that is left is to read the entire thing back to make sure it sounds like you want it to. A good idea is to either read it to someone else and ask them to help you with anything that doesn’t sound right, or get a tape recorder and record you reading it, and play it back. Then you can listen for yourself. Congratulations on making it to this point - you know you have done a good job no matter what you have written, simply because it is personal and came from you, and you didn’t take the easy way out and copy examples of eulogies.

This is a once in a lifetime thing, so a couple of final comments to keep in mind. A personalized message means so much more than whether or not you got the grammer right. You are expressing what is in your heart - say what you know to be important and express any emotion you need to. That is why you’re there - to pay respect for the person’s life.